wakka's guilt
by Broken2Pieces
Summary: second part of wakka's choice. It's been a year since Lulu's death, and wakka, Yuna, and Rikku are on their way to visit her in the farplane. can he really face her after what happened? i dont own ffx, and this is a bad summary, i apologize


I no own ffx

It was sunset at the moonflow and all the pyreflies were flying about in a sea of fire. Wakka watched silently as Yuna and Rikku frolicked about in the light, their laughter searing his ears like a dentists' drill. "Come on wakka"! He heard Rikku call. It had been nearly a year since they had defeated Sin, Nearly a year since Lulu died.

"No thank you", Wakka said quietly, "I know you miss her, I do too. That's why we're going to the farplane.

"I don't know if I can, Yuna." Wakka admitted quietly, "I can't face Lulu after what happened.

"Why not?" Rikku asked, "You're the one who comforted Lulu as she died. I'm sure you'd be the first one she'd want to see her."

"Rikku's right" Yuna said, "Besides, I think it would be good for you. I've seen her a bunch of times and Kimari's gone twice.

"Yeah, even I've gone to see her a few times," Rikku said.

"But you've never gone." Yuna finished. "Wakka, I know you're hurting, but you have to let go. I know I'm probably the last person to tell you this, I wait for Tidus to come back every day, but soon we're going to have to face the facts; that they may not be coming back. We'll work together, o.k.? Let's go see Lulu." Wakka stared at her outstretched hand.

"Yeah", he said, "Let's go."

The plyreflies were flying in a furry now, but Wakka barely noticed them as he walked. Through his mind's eye he way flashbacks of Lulu that night. He saw her battling for her life. He saw the fiend that snuck up on her crash down, and felt his powerlessness to save her. "I'm so sorry Lu", he whispered, tears coming to his eyes.

At first the trip across the moonflow was quiet; each lost in their own memories of their dear friend. "Its just so hard to believe she's gone, ya?" Wakka said, breaking the silence, "I don't know what's worse, the fact that I couldn't save her, or the fact that it was the poison of a lowly fiend, not sin, that took her from me." He felt the familiar tightness in his eyes, but this time he didn't care; he let them flow freely down his face.

"wakka?" He heard Yuna ask, what's really bugging you? You went to see Chappu the first time you could. You've never even attempted to go see Lulu." He felt both their eyes on him, awaiting his answer. He sighed, took a deep breath, and looked into their eyes. "I guess it's time I told you," He said quietly, "Lulu…when she got hit…she was in so much pain, ya? I tried everything I could think of, but I couldn't get rid of the poison. All I could do was sit and watch her slowly die." He paused for a moment, trying to find the right words to say, his tears coming faster now.

"It's o.k. wakka," He heard Yuna say, " go on."

"I saw the look on lulu's face", He continued, "She was crying. I called for help, but no one could hear. I couldn't stand to see her suffer anymore! I'm so sorry Yuna!" Wakka was crying hard now, "I used a deathtouch blade on her, she died almost instantly. The truth is, Yuna, Lulu's dead because of me!" Finally he broke down completely, his sobs echoing over the water.

"Wakka," He heard Yuna say as he felt their arms embrace him. "Wakka, I already knew."

"You did?" Wakka asked, "How"?

"We saw your blade", she replied, "Auron put it all together. That's why he had us rush that day. He didn't want you to have to tell us so close to the end."

"When did you find out?" Wakka asked.

"After we faced Yunalesca", Yuna said, " You were way to willing to become a fayth.

"Auron made us all swear not to let you know." Rikku said, "He said that you would tell us when you came to terms with it. He didn't want you to think we were judging you. He thinks you did the right thing.

"were you mad?" Wakka asked quietly.

"At first I was," Yuna admitted, "but at myself. I didn't protect Lulu like she protected me, But now? I think…you made the right call. It would have been too late anyway, and she would have died a horrible death. I…I just wish I could have told her how much I loved her before…"

"She already knew, Yuna", Wakka said as he wiped her tears away, "she loved you too.

"It's just so hard," Yuna continued, "I'm starting to feel happy again, but then I remember, she died because of me!"

"But because of you, Yunie," Rikku said, "no guardian will have to die again." For a minute they all sat in silence, looking at the approaching land.

"So what do we do now?" Wakka asked.

"We go she Lulu," Yuna said. "We just go see Lulu.


End file.
